I am an independent person and there is a sense of self satisfaction (ego boost) you feel when you have accomplished something yourself. I’ve been this way due to the lack of support I have received previously. I don’t think I ask for much but I have always been this way.
I find it hard to ask for help when I need it. I’m not sure what it is that makes it so hard but I have a few theories.Maybe I’ll feel like less of a man for having to succumb and ask for help. Although that thought pattern can lead to a very dark hole that is hard to return from. Maybe its the rejection of someone saying no, knowing that I don’t normally ask for much.
Or I’m trying to avoid the disappointment that comes along with the person saying no and then having to bribe them or guilt trip them into saying yes, depending on how badly I needed the help.Could be that I have asked for help before only to be let down and eventually having having to do it myself anyway. It happens frequently enough that there is no point in asking. Or they begrudgingly help you and complain about it the whole time and forever after the event.
Once I have asked for assistance in doing something and it was too big of a drama to do, there is no point coming ready to do it later or I have already done it. It is too later, don’t bother. I take the attitude that if you want something done right you need to do it yourself. Then if and when it goes wrong I will only have myself to blame.
The only exception is when its lifting something heavy, awkward and there is no possible way I can do it myself . Or someone else begs for help in the process diminishing my capability. Once I have asked for assistance in doing something and it was too big of a drama to do, there is no point coming ready to do it later or I have already done it. It is too later, don’t bother.